Erin Go Braugh: Happy Evacuation Day

On the phone with my Mom last night:

So what are you going to do tomorrow on your day off?

No Mom, I have to work.

Oh right, only Boston.

She lives in Boston. I do not.

St Patrick's Day in Boston is coincidentally (or not so coincidentally as most believe) also Evacuation Day. It is the day that the British evacuated from Boston Harbor. So on Evacuation Day, nobody works and EVERYBODY celebrates St Patrick's Day! When you grow up in Boston, St. Patrick's Day is not an option, it is a birth right.

There is a televised breakfast complete with Irish step dancing, songs, and roasts of local Boston politicians. There is a parade. Green beer. Crowds of people on the streets and in some of the oldest bars (or pubs) in the country. And everybody is dressed in green and happy.















I currently live in the Midwest. Today is still acknowledged but it's not the same. I am at work with a green shirt, green necklace, green cellphone, and scribbling notes with my green pen. But my heart is somewhere else today. (I wish I was here)



(Photo: St Patricks a few years ago. I think I was going for the kiss and he was going for the secret)



I know for most today is a reason to drink green beer but to me it's... well it's that, but it's more too. There is an X-factor. On this day each year I am filled with pride. Proud of where I came from. Proud that my background is so celebrated. proud that I am from a city so full of history and tradition.

So however you may celebrate today and for whatever reason,

May your blessings outnumber

the shamrocks that grow,

And may trouble avoid you,

wherever you go.

(source unknown)

Spirit of Good Health: Tricking Myself

I am still not feeling good today. I am getting really frustrated with this mysterious illness and zero diagnosis. I think I am going to leave work early in an effort to find better health.
When I don't feel good, I actually put more effort into my appearance. It's my version of chicken soup for the soul. In the spirit of "fake it till you make it", I will leave you today with this picture, and urge my body to feel like it did on that day and not this one.

Say Ha: The best one of the best ones

Surround Yourself with Your Dream Team.

My cousin Jen said to me one time. I always think about that. It is the best friendship advice that I know. It is so simple and so true.

The last weekend in February, I was in San Francisco hanging out with my best friend. We don't live in the same place. We haven't for five years and as much as I wish (daily) for us to be neighbors, the distance yields adventure.

We have been to eleven different states together (not including Australia or New Zealand) and I would not trade those trips for anything in the world.

She picked me up at the airport and we drove around the city so excited that it was hard to finish a sentence.

San Francisco is so beautiful and surreal
and I was trying to let it settle in
that I was really there.
I wanted to stretch out each moment.
A part of me wanted to stay forever.


Our friendship is what friendship is supposed to be. We don’t live in the same place, we can’t talk everyday, but when we connect, we don’t skip a beat.
She reminds me who I am. No matter what is going on, when I tell her, she has this amazing way of making everything feel like that is exactly how it is supposed to be. It is comforting, it is reassuring, and it adds an element of excitement to everything we do.

I know I am guilty of talking about her. A lot. To everyone. The thing is, we have a lot of really great stories. She was there the day I met the love of my life. She talked me into bungee jumping. She saved my life when we were lost on a glacier…. How do you NOT talk about that?

When we were in Napa she bought a bottle of wine that can age for up to thirty years. She bought it because she had an image in her head of us (significant others included) on vacation together years from now.

I love that.
I love it because with us,
it will actually happen.
We dream it up and then we make it come to life.

Doctor Advice: You'll Breathe Even If You Don't Try

Something is not right. For the past week and a half my body has been experiencing some sort of attack and it's taking everything in me not to completely freak out.

I am having moments where i feel like I can't breathe,

like I'm going to lose consciousness, like my body does not want to work anymore. I feel like I am fighting against myself just for normal function. I have never experienced anything like this before and it is scary and frustrating.

I was in the emergency room on Thursday night/Friday morning and all the big tests were normal so that's good- but it's not getting better. I was back in the doctor's on Saturday and then Monday and on the phone with them on Tuesday.

I am at work now because I am negative with time-off so I feel like I have to be. It is manageable sitting at my desk when I can just keep to myself, interactions can be challenging. And how I feel changes minute to minute. One second I think I'm okay and the next, I see myself hitting the floor.

I had to write about this just to get it out. I have tried so many times to explain the symptoms to doctors, nurses, loved ones. I want so badly to feel better and be okay.

One thing I am grateful for is a doctor who listens and who is willing to test and examine. She makes me feel like I am being taken care of. She is not the only one. Nick has been wonderful. My friends have reached out to me with kind words and even baked goods and my sisters have been checking on me. It is comforting to know that when these things happen, that your support system kicks into gear. It makes the days a little easier. And I know that with every day and new test we are one step closer to solving this. Being patient (or being a patient) can be hard sometimes and I really have to not do too many web searches or self diagnosing. I have to listen to the doctors advice and just- focus on breathing.

The Giving Season: O to Make a Difference

Amidst the busy holiday season, I offer this. It is a fresh way to make a difference. It offers the chance to feel that one person, that you, can actually bring about change. I am putting it on my Christmas list. I challenge anyone who reads this to click on the links and learn more and see if you too aren't pushed to do something to help. The final push was watching this video.

I have a good heart. I want to make the world better but too often the problems seem overwhelming and I feel too small to make an impact and the message gets lost. This book, this movement offer real solutions that each one of use can be a part of and that is something worth sharing!

Visions of You: Motorcycle Drive By

I know I don't write on here enough. I know that. I know it because my head is swimming. Writing is what gives me peace. When elements of my life are not shared, it is like they are floating wildly in my head and the only way to calm myself is to pin them down with words. I lay in bed at night and think, I should write about this... but I fall asleep before I can coax myself out of bed and to a computer. While I sleep the thoughts that I have carefully collected escape into the night. And I have to start chasing them around all over again.

It is Friday. My boss left early today. That is always nice. The office is quiet and everyone is content. I am listening to music as I work. Usually music allows me to move quickly through my tasks and serves as more of a beat to type to than a distraction. There are songs though that are serious exceptions to that rule. There are songs that are so paralyzing that work, or really anything other than a complete stop, is impossible.

Summer time and the wind is blowing outside
in lower Chelsea
And I don't know what I'm doing
in this city
The sun is always in my eyes
It crashes through the windows
Motorcycle Drive By is one of those songs. If you do not know that song, you should. But it may not mean as much to you as it does me. And that is okay. If you are a music person in any sense of the word, you probably have a song like that as well.

No matter where you are when you here it, you stop and it takes you in. I actually get butterflies when I hear it. The kind of butterflies that move about not only in my stomach but on the right day spread to my chest, my throat, and even cause my hands to shake.

Today is one of those days.

This song connects me to my memories, my friends, my adventures, and possibly my future. Music in a way that nothing else can, draws me closer to those places. Music brings up memories that you forgot to remember. Music shakes up your soul. And knowing all of that, how could I possibly do anything else when a songs like that is playing in my ears.

And I never been so alone
And I've never been so alive
(*The italics are lyrics from Motorcycle Drive By by Third Eye Blind. It was written by Stephan Jenkins and appears on the bands first album. I had the amazing fortune to meet him a few months ago. Please ignore my weird expression. I was beyond happy in this moment.)