Hometown: Connected

I don't know what I can say that has not already been said, but I know that I can not write about anything else, until I address what happened in Boston. It is hard to believe that it has only been a week. It is hard to believe that it happened at all.

You do not have to know me well, to know that I am from Boston. I live in Minneapolis but all of my family and some of my dearest friends still reside in and around the city. I have never been shy about my pride for my hometown. Boston is a remarkable place and I miss it very much.

Nick has commented to me on a few occasions that the city has a connectedness to it that is intimidating to an outsider. It feels like everyone knows everyone else. The house that my parents live in was built by my great-grandfather and that is not uncommon. Roots run deep and people love their city with a passion that is usually reserved for states and countries.

And it is with that connectedness, that passion, that my city responded to horrific tragedy. Watching my home splattered on national television was heart-wrenching. It felt like a nightmare and it stretched on for days. I sat on my couch trying to learn as much as I could. I flipped channels, yelling at national reporters for mispronunciations and at local reporters for pulling away from coverage to discuss weather and traffic. I endlessly texted and checked facebook and refreshed Boston.com. I worried about my family and friends and I prayed desperately for those I knew were not okay.

I commented in this post that before I go home again, I will have traveled a long way. I could never have imagined what that meant. I wish so badly that I could be there now, to look upon the people and the place and reaffirm that they are there, picking up the pieces and moving forward. It helps to see videos and to hear stories. It helps to know the strength of my city and the humor that peeks through, even in times of horrendous tragedy.
 
Boston, you have my heart.

Coincidence: Clues and Cues

Inspired by a recent episode of This American Life, I have been thinking a lot about coincidence. I love stories that unite random moments and chance meetings. I am fascinated by unexpected examples of connection that offer temporary proof of a meaningful life.

Since listening to the episode, I am trying to recall the coincidences that have happened to me. I came up with five examples. I ran the anecdotes by Nick and he questioned if they were all illustrations of coincidence. In his opinion, luck and serendipity were at work in a few.

However you want to classify them, these accounts have been plucked from obscurity to represent meaning. Some happened years ago and still, I hold them close to my heart. They have shone a light on ordinary days and created a memory that lives to provide significance.

My most recent instance occurred just a few weeks ago.

When we were in Boston, Nick and I went to a friend's for dinner. It was a forty minute drive from my parents' house and one town over from where my Mom grew up. The streets that take you from the main road to our destination were windy, wooded, and on this night, very snowy. We used Nick's phone for directions and planned on using it for the return trip. When we got out to the car, the map failed to find our location.

We tried to remember our way out and made guesses with each turn. After maybe ten minutes, I knew we were off track. The weather and the narrow roads made it too dangerous to pull over. We finally came upon an opening in the road, a small convenience store parking lot. I parked and called my Mom, hoping the area would be familiar enough for her to direct us home.

I told her the road we had been driving on and the name of the convenience store. She asked for a street sign. Behind us, I saw a street post with two street names and arrows pointing in opposite directions. I read the names off to her. Her voice changed with recognition. She said the street names back with a tongue of familiarity. I confirmed the streets and she let out a breath. She then gave me easy directions to a road that I would know.

The next morning my Mom informed me that I was sitting directly in front of the house where my grandfather was born and raised.

In the episode, it is mentioned that the stories always feel more powerful when they happen to us.  It is hard to view your own life through an objective lens. We desire a life of value and these glimpses show us a path, a larger force at work.

Despite that truth, a quote at the end of the podcast brings together why these stories still matter.

"There's just a poetry to things like this when they happen. There's some kind of beauty in it. There's meaning in the noticing of it at all."

Nest: It's the Little Things

When we returned from the baby shower, I washed, sorted, and folded all of the tiny clothes. The crib and dresser will not come in for another 7-9 weeks (who's worried?) so I stacked them in a laundry basket in the baby's closet.

I am deep in the throes of nesting. I want to spend all my time preparing and I get anxious when there is nothing for me to do.

I have to wait for her crib and dresser. I am waiting for a shipment from my Mom with the items we could not pack into our suitcases after the shower. Nick and I have implemented a budget and I am trying to wait until the end of the month to spend money on other baby items (shelf, baskets, curtains, blinds). So right now, I am stuck. I keep measuring her room to see how everything will fit. And sometimes, I just sit in there and look around. Do I sound crazy yet?

As for her tiny clothes- so. much. pink. I knew it was going to happen and I absolutely do not mind but I do love when clothes can be really cute or girly without being pink. It shows a little creativity. My absolute favorite is when clothes have ruffles on the butt.

And a few weeks ago, I found the below image on pinterest. I fell in love. It made me think about summer. I would have purchased it on the spot except it turned out to be instructions on how to sew the outfit. Not going to happen.

 The socks are impossibly small. We did already lose one (it has since been recovered) but I know it's just a matter of time before they start slipping into the land of the missing. I plan on using this clever idea to help mitigate our losses.

The other thing that I want to address is the registry. It is a lot of work.

It is nothing like registering for a wedding. Your wedding is all about things you want. Oh that rug is pretty, check. It is awesome. You get nice towels and matching bowls and it is important, but you are adding things to the life that you currently have. (Example: Nick and I love hosting dinner parties, we should get some items that we can use.)

 When you build a baby registry, it is a lot more involved. You are preparing for a life that you do not yet have. And you are asking for items that will help a tiny human live. (Example: I want to leave my house with this baby, I need to put it somewhere safe.)

Nick and I spent hours researching what we need. We read hundreds of amazon reviews and reached out to friends and family with questions. So much thought went into every item we added. So it shocked me when a friend told me she had trouble picking something out for us because "there wasn't anything special on the registry". I know what she meant and it is a thought I have had before when looking at other registries. But I can tell you now, every item on that registry is special. Changing pads might not be glamorous but I need to put my baby down on something so that I can keep that pretty rug.



 Speaking of special gifts, for my birthday Nick gave me Make Way for Ducklings. If you grew up in New England, chances are you had this book. And if you grew up in Boston, chances are this book was cause for a field trip. If you have no idea what I am talking about, buy this book for a child in your life and then go to the Public Garden in Boston. I posted a picture of them on this blog post.

Nick and I had our wedding photos done in that park.

Also there's this:

 

Showered: Boston Baby

 The last weekend in February, Nick and I flew to Boston for my baby shower. It was great to be home and strange to know that it was my last trip before the baby arrives. 

My Mom called a few days before we flew out to let me know that a snow storm was expected the night before and the day of the shower. We did not have options for changing dates, so I tried to not think much about the weather. As the day approached, the storm became eminent but the severity lessened.

Snow covered backyard.

 It was the kind of snow that stuck to the trees and made for a really pretty backdrop. In the end, it deterred only one guest. Friends and family arrived from Connecticut, New York, Cape Cod, New Hampshire, and all over Massachusetts. I am so grateful to have people in my life who are willing to travel and celebrate this exciting time. I also have to say how awesome my parents and sisters are for putting it all together. They cleaned, cooked, and decorated like crazy. My Dad spent hours shoveling snow banks so there would be enough parking spots. My Mom cooked almost all of the food by herself. My older sister filled the house with decorations. And my little sister picked up odd jobs and lent me shoes. And last but not least, Kaia placed her blanky across the couch in case anybody got tired and wanted to take a nap.

Tracey, Nana Rice, Mom, Me, Kaia, Christine

Love my friends!

Showers in my family do not entail any games. We gather, talk, eat, and drink. Other than the gift opening, it feels like a regular party. It is great and I'm glad that nobody had to guess how round I am. No offense to people who love games, it's just not my thing.

Photo taken before my Dad and b.i.l. snuck Nick out to the bar.

Kyla and Kaia

 I am also grateful to have little kids and babies to take some of the attention. I named Kaia "shower captain" and let her know that her job was to entertain people. At the last moment, she told me she wanted to be called "shower fairy" but would still help open the gifts. As people came in the door she would announce that "another customer arrived".

 Leaving Boston this time was really hard. Mainly, I have a hard time imagining all of the changes my life will take before I go home again. I will deliver a baby. I will become a mom. And I will have all of that happen while my family is far away. I always thought I would be back in Boston when this time came. But life has taken me somewhere unexpected. The shower in Boston was a great reminder of the support that I do have, even if I do not get to see those people everyday.

I cannot wait for summer and my next trip to Boston. I cannot wait to dress her in one of the many Red Sox onesies we received and bring her to the beach for the first time. When that happens, I will think back to now and although only a few months will have gone by, life will be so new and I will have traveled so far.  

Christmas Vacation: Our Little Distraction

As I mentioned in my Christmas post, Nick and I did not get around to see everyone we wanted when we were in Boston. We tried, we drove across states and saw so many friends that thinking back now, I get confused at who said what at which party. But still, high school and college friends were missed.

The parties, and a large number of loved ones are not the only reasons we did not complete our rounds. A lot of the blame really can fall to one person. She never means to, or maybe she does, but when she is around, everything else falls away.

2012 Christmas card.

My sister and her family live an hour from Boston and decided that instead of driving back and forth from my parent's house all week, stayed over. The house was crowded and a little hectic but totally worth it. It was the longest continuous time that Nick and I have spent with Kaia and we took full advantage.

Kaia showing Uncle Nick how to use an iPad.

Kaia climbed on my lap and requested that we have our photo taken.

Kaia helping Uncle Nick choose a microbrew at the Yard House.

  

As you know, kids say the darnedest things and this little one is no exception. She chatters constantly and makes up incredibly detailed stories. On Christmas morning, she opened the nightgown from Nick and I and exclaimed, "Oh my dosh, dosh, dosh! It's gorgeous!" And proceeded to strip down and pull the nightgown on. Once she was dressed in her new pajamas she suggested that we all stop opening presents, go upstairs, pretend it is nighttime, share our beds, and go to sleep. 

Kaia in her new nightgown with Cookie.

 She was upset that we were not up for her idea so I suggested that she open the Christmas present that Nick and I bought for Cookie, her teddy bear and constant companion. She put on the high-pitched voice that she uses to talk for Cookie and sat the bear in front of her. She used the stuffed paw to open the wrapping paper. It took awhile to get the tape off but it was adorable to watch.  

On Christmas Eve, after we announced the gender of Baby Valley, Kaia and I were playing on the floor. I asked her if she was excited to have a girl cousin. She responded by kissing me on the lips. She then started bending her little body down. I realized what she was doing and lifted myself to my knees. She then kissed my belly. It was the most precious moment and I could hardly believe the sweetness of my little niece. 

Christmas Eve

Kaia watching The Nutcracker. Shortly after this, she lifted her leg in the air and said "These moves are tricky."

Kaia playing with new Princess stickers. What a lovely crown!

Kaia, a little confused after waking up from a nap in a new place.

One Year: An Amazing Way to Celebrate

Left to Right: Carlos, Ketlynne, Abbie, Matt, Adam, Katie, Kris, Kat

When I called the Omni Parker House last week to book a room, they asked my reason for the one-night stay. It was probably more than they actually wanted when I responded- A friend is getting married in Providence and it happens to be the same weekend as our one year wedding anniversary, which took place at the Omni, so the day after their their wedding, we'll be there to celebrate ours.

There was a long pause before the lady responded, "So it's your anniversary?"

I told her that it was and she asked if I minded if she took note. I was hoping she would.

All of the above plus Steve, Nick and I.

 So late Friday night, Nick and I flew into Boston. The flight was fun as we got free beer and watched this dumb, funny show. We landed at 11:30pm, rented a car, and drove to my parents house. My Mom got out of bed to spend a few minutes chatting with us and then we all went to sleep.

Nick and I were out of the house by 9am and driving to Providence. We walked into our first hotel at 10:15am to find our buddy Adam walking his baby girl around the lobby.  The first baby in our ever growing OZ04 family.

The wedding was for my friends, Carlos and Katie. Carlos and I went to college together but did not meet until we were driving around on a bus in Australia. That's right, the same bus where I met him and her. It was an eventful time. 

Carlos quickly became one of my best friends. He is kind and sweet and funny. He can dance really well and even though he's a very successful adult, he is young at heart. He is a romantic, he loves superheros and Disney movies, and he would do anything for his family and friends.

Nick, Carlos, and Katie in Boston a few years ago.

In August of 2005 when I packed up my life and drove to Minnesota, Carlos came with me. I owe a lot to him for that. It was the craziest thing I have ever done, more so than skydive or bungee jump. (Though, he was there for those adventures too.)

 

So the woman taking my reservation at the hotel was spared from details of truly how significant this weekend actually was. 

The wedding was so much fun! we laughed and danced and reminisced and took a million pictures and laughed even more.

Congratulations Carlos and Katie!!

 The next day after tears by me and lots of hugs, Nick and I were on our own to celebrate our anniversary. We arrived at the Omni to discover that we had been upgraded to a suite like the one we had for our wedding. Champagne and chocolate covered strawberries waiting for us. (A+) It helped me dry my tears and we set off for dinner in the North End.

The next day was our actual anniversary and we toured downtown Boston on my signature walk before meeting up with my family. We went to dinner at the restaurant where we had our rehearsal dinner. We sat outside and I could not help but think about sitting in this very spot the year before. It was perfect.

At 6:15 the next morning, we were on a plane back to Minneapolis. It was a whirlwind. It seems almost like a dream now. Did I really just see all those people? Did we really just have our first wedding anniversary? It doesn't seem possible. I feel so lucky. And the cherry on this tale is that our next adventure is right around the corner.

Having a niece: Kaia Lee

Yesterday over my lunch break I was in Target when I got a text from my sister that caused a noise to escape from deep in my throat that reached out and scared the lady behind me.

My niece said a few simple sentences that simultaneously made my day and broke my heart. Unprompted she looked up at her Mom and said, "I so excited for Auntie Kerin to come!"

And so Christine asked her, "When is she coming Kaia?

Kaia responded matter-of-factly, "On Sunday, for my birthday party!"

Are you kidding me?? I wish I was going. Unfortunately they are in New England and I am in the Midwest and for this weekend, that distance cannot be changed.

Gosh it's so hard to be away from that kid. She is still at an age in which every time I see her, she has changed. Her hair is longer, her speech is clearer, her interactions are more purposeful, and she has a firmer grip on my heartstrings.

Kaia brings so much light to my family. I imagine that many feel this way, but I do not know how we spent our time before her. She is smart, asking to go on the potty and spelling her name all before the age of two. She is left-handed and seems to have a creative mind and a strong imagination as she nicknamed our old Little People set Merry Playground.

 "I crush them with Lightening McQueen" -Kaia

When I was home for Thanksgiving she would wake me up in the morning to play with our old kitchen set. I spent every available minute with her, getting to know her adorable mannerisms, and hoping I could make a strong enough impression that when I see her again, some of it has stuck.

Cutest flower girl ever.

I make jokes about buying her love but really, I do want to give her things. I want her to be able to hold a giraffe, a book, a truck and know that Auntie Kerin bought it for her. They are place savers until I can get on the phone and then get on a plane. So on her almost two year birthday and even though she can't yet understand all of the words I have written to her:

Happy Birthday Kaia!! I love you so very much.

You are perfect and wonderful and I miss you the second you leave a room.

Trot Trot to Boston: Catching Fire

I am back at work after the Thanksgiving holiday. I flew to Boston on Thanksgiving and then took a flight at 11:45am Monday and came straight into work. The whole day felt like a dream, like I wasn't really here.

The best part about coming back was going home to see that Nick had surprised me by cleaning the house, hanging up pictures, and putting up a Christmas tree. The living room smelled like pine and the Christmas tree next to the fireplace made the room so cozy and nice.

Now I wish I could be home on my couch, wrapped in a blanket, drinking coffee, and reading The Hunger Games. I started the trilogy maybe two weeks ago and I am halfway done with the third book. I cannot stop. Every free moment I have, I want to be reading. Trilogies, young adult, soon to be movies- are not usually my kind of book. I am a self described literary snob. But this book has got me! It is well written, compelling, and unlike anything I have ever read. I am attached to the characters and as much as I want to keep reading, I will be sad to finish.

The other thing that has been contributing to my speed reading is the wedding present Kris and Steve gave us. The day before my wedding Kris presented me with a Nook. She explained that she knows I love books but for travelling, the Nook makes more sense. I wasn't so sure about it. Nick and I decided that if I didn't like using it, he would. And if I did use it, we would buy a second. Last week Nick bought a second.

The Hunger Games are the first books that I have read on the e-reader. Kris was right about the ease of travel. It is small and I can hold it in one hand. It remembers my page, I can turn it on and off with one button, and the pages don't rip, wrinkle, or smush in my pocketbook.

When I was in Boston, reading in my parent's basement I looked over and noticed the bookshelf. Two of the shelves are taken up by encyclopedias that my grandparents bought when we were kids. What an investment my grandparents wanted to make in us, updating the collection every year with science books. I held my Nook in one hand and slid the other along the spine of the navy books with gold lettering. My Mom cannot toss them out but when will they be used? How old fashioned it seems to use an encyclopedia as a reference. What will my children think of those books? And that right there is what scares me about e-readers.

I know it seems like a jump but I love books and I don't want them to be a thing of the past. I plan on continuing to build a library. Books that I love, books that I want around, I plan on buying hardcover copies and building an expansive library ala Beauty and the Beast.


I could look past the fangs too with a library like this!

 I have already declared myself as the aunt who will buy books and have started making a list of all the classics that Kaia needs to own. Last Christmas it was the hardcover complete collection of Winnie the Pooh, this year it was the Polar Express and Make Way for Ducklings. I just hope that someday she is not in my house reading from a tiny projecting watch when she looks up and wonders what somebody is to do with all those books.

Kaia reading a story to her animals.

Lost in Translation: Baseball

Lost in the clutter of my rough week is something wonderful: We purchased our tickets to Australia!

We are leaving in a little over a month and are gone for almost three weeks! I'm so excited!!

There is still a lot of planning to be done. We have not booked hotels or finalized any plans. It doesn't matter. Because by Christmas, Nick and I will be wondering around Sydney!

One of the big pieces of our trip is meeting up with friends. We will be seeing our LivingIf friends and will be meeting up with our favorite Australian, Jonno.

Jonno and I on one of his trips to the states.

Jonno and I have been sending emails back and forth to figure out when we will meet up. While he's on my mind, let me tell you a funny Jonno story:

In October of 2004, I was on a road trip with Jonno and Kris. If you remember anything about me, it may be that during this time I was in Australia or that I am from Boston. If you remember anything about baseball, it may be that this was the magic year for my team.

I had already watched the Red Sox win against the Yankees and had tried unsuccessfully to watch the World Series. I knew the result of each game but being on the other side of the world and so many hours ahead of America, in remote towns, driving for hours on end in Jonno's little yellow car, it was hard to keep track.

We were driving back from Byron Bay and had stopped for the night in the middle of nowhere at a motel that seemed to be straight out of a horror movie. It was late and we were exhausted from the long drive.

Kris had fallen asleep and Jonno and I were awake and watching a stupid movie on TV. I was dozing off when the television went to commercial. A female news anchor was on and talking about a weekly sports wrap up.

"This week in cricket.... The week in rugby.... And in an American side note, the Boston Red Sox have broken an 86 year curse to go on and win the World Series."

Before I knew what has happening, I was out of my covers, screaming, and leaping from bed to bed. After bouncing around the room, I tried to wake Kris to no avail. I screamed some more and finally settled back onto my bed, wired, and so happy.

It took me a few minutes to register the look on Jonno's face- total confusion. He was staring at me and I knew he wanted to celebrate but also maybe thought I had lost my mind.

So I tried to calm myself to a speaking voice, and in one long breath I tried to explain. I told him about the curse, Babe Ruth, Fenway Park, the Yankees, the almost victories, and what this means to me, my family, my city, and all the serious fans who had waited so long to have this moment.

When I finished talking, I paused and waited for his response. The look of confusion lingered on his face. He titled his head to the side and let out each word as though I had misspoken, "I thought Babe Ruth played for the Knicks?"