Treat Yo Self: What will you remember?

I did not want to come in today. Not at all. Now that I'm here, I realize I'm not the only one that felt that way. Most of my team is MIA. This weekend went by way too fast.

Sometimes I can't help but want to shake out my life. I play with the idea of throwing away everything that I'm "supposed to do" and figure out what I really want.

What would that even look like?? I actually have no idea.

1. I love to travel
2. I need to write
3. I am newly married and plan to keep that guy around
4. I have friends and family that I wish I saw more.

So maybe I would travel around with Nick and write. Yup, that's it.

Except I also have two dogs that I adore and I don't want to leave them behind. Shoot. And Nick has this crazy idea that we shouldn't spend all of our wedding money on travel as we also someday want to have a family and we will need a place to live and babies are expensive.

We are going to Australia in December but selfishly, it's not enough. Yes, Australia is a total dream for us. We long to be back down under, living a life that is slow and beautiful and easy. But I think it's wrong that in order to go, we have to spend every last hour of vacation time and come back with the feeling that we've had our fun, time to work. I don't want that.

Not to say I'm not willing to work for what I have, but if Oprah is right, and of course she is, the work that I'm meant to do won't feel like work, and shouldn't leave me feeling like I'm here because I have to be. The supposed to be that pushes me out of bed every day should be the soul stirring supposed to and not the nagging bills are due supposed to. Sometimes, I forget all of this.

Often I get caught up in schedules, responsiblities, fears of what other will think and I fall in line - I drag myself out of bed, get dressed, walk to the lightrail, and squish onto the train with a bunch of other people that look from their exhausted faces that they also would rather be someplace else.

Why do we do that?? We know life is short. I was told that when I grew up that I could be whatever I wanted. I was also told to always make sure I have insurance. I have found those two statements conflicting. I have to work a 9-5 because I have to make money to pay bills. It doesn't seem like that good of a reason. Can't I make money doing something else? Can't I not have so many bills? But when do I have time to figure out my life plan? When can I sit down and firmly declare- I'm going to drive a bus and write haikus.

Last week Sam was over my place for pizza and wine. We started watching episodes of Arrested Development and then started talking about boys. She missed the last bus back to her place so the decision was made that she would stay over and I would lend her clothes. As it got later, one of us suggested playing hooky from work. "In a year what will you remember more?" Sam asked.

"In a week what will you remember more?" I half joked. That was that.

We stayed up until almost 3:00am watching good tv, drinking cheap wine, and talking about relationships. It was like high school (minus the wine). (Krystal, had you not snuck away when you did- this could have been you!)

On Thursday- we slept in, made pancakes, went grocery shopping, made chili, watched more Arrested Development, and napped. It was so simple and fun. By the time I drove Sam home that evening, I was relaxed and ready for a one day work week.

This Day: Too Many Updates.

It has been an eventful few weeks. I wish I was writing more, but that is a constant truth.

I am going to try to get it all out for my own sanity but I might get lost in the details so just bear with me.

Do you want good news or bad news first? I always think it's better to get the bad first so you can end with the good.

Do you remember the minor car accident that I told you about? Well... The shop fixed my car, good as new: new bumper, new paint, new shock absorber. When it was all fixed up, they offered to tow the car to a closer location... See where this is going?

They were almost to the shop when the tow truck was rear ended. We were told in the first phone call that there was "significant damage to just the corolla". Long story short, my car has an estimated three pages and $6,000 worth of damages. I do not even want it back at this point. That just does not seem safe. Luckily Nick and his Dad are helping me sort through this mess. More to come.

Now for some good news: Nick and I found a house!! (Hold on friends and family, we are not buying. It is a rental.) It is a one family home in South Minneapolis and it is oh so cute. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a fireplace, french windows, and a fenced in yard for the boys. It is not falling apart. It does not have 19-year-old potheads on the other side of the walls. And it is adorable! We are thrilled! We move in July 6th. Woo!!


Right now is such a weird time. We are getting close to the wedding, summer is almost here, and the weather has been insane! There were tornadoes in Minneapolis this past weekend. My friend Nikki has a tree through her house! Tornadoes scare me so much. I may have cleared a path in my basement and scouted the best spots for hiding, just in case.

Yesterday was May 25th, the Oprah finale. The last show was so wonderful. I need to get a recording of it. She just talked honestly and lovingly to her audience. She shared her wisdom, her thoughts, and her hopes for her viewers. My friend Tara and I sat together on my couch, clutched glasses of champagne, and tried to carefully absorb every word. I want to watch over and over.

I held it together until the last segment. I knew it would be emotional, but I was surprised by how I felt. It was like saying goodbye to a friend who is moving far away. I know that show so well. I have known that show my whole life. But in the summer of 2005, when i moved to Minneapolis, the show became something more.

When I got here, I did not have friends, I did not have a job. I was starting a new chapter in my life and I needed reassurance, I needed something comfortable. Everyday I would make lists: Go to the gym, vacuum, go to the library, apply for five jobs.

But everyday at 4:00pm I was allowed to stop being active and I would sit on the couch and watch Oprah.

This blog has even seem my Oprah references and calls for support. I always tell Nick: Despite any obvious differences between Oprah and myself, I have no trouble imagining her and I as good friends. I love to think of her and I sitting down with a bottle of wine and just chatting about life. I feel like we have been doing this for years, it has just been more of a one-sided conversation. :)

There is one other situation i want to share with you, but taking a queue from my seasoned-blogger-friend, Leah, I will wait to share the details. The main point is last night, I had an awful scare that something happened to Nick and although everything turned out to be just fine, I feel different today. When Nick and I were finally able to communicate last night, he was trying to rationally describe his ordeal to me but my need to continuously tell him how much I love him, made it hard for him to say much.

Sorry to end to this confusing, long post with something so summarized and possibly cheesy but the mug I grabbed out of the work cabinet says, "There is nothing worth more than this day" and that is how I feel right now.

Hug your loved ones and I'll be back soon to write things that actually make sense.

Oprah: Take the Pledge. Save a Life.

Unless you live under a rock you have probably heard of Oprah's "No Phone Zone" campaign. It is bringing awareness to the dangers of driving and texting or talking on the phone. While I don't text, I am guilty of being on the phone in my car. I do see now how dangerous it is so I, along with about 300,000 people, have signed the pledge. I encourage you to do the same by following this link.

Thanks!

Also something pretty great happened today. I will hold off sharing for now but I will tell you as soon as I can. Sorry couldn't help but give a teaser.

Happy Monday!

Late Night: Sleepless Over Spring

Last night I fell asleep on my couch really early watching baseball. Nick woke me up and I went up stairs and got ready for bed. By the time my head hit the pillow, I was wide awake. So I got back up, cleaned, and slected an episode of Oprah to watch (yes I record it everyday).

The episode was about dream jobs. It was inspiring to hear all of these unique, passionate people share how they got to be what they are. They kept repeating the importance of following your passion. Such good advice and I will be coming back to this highly relevant topic in oh about eight days but for now, let's keep it light.

One of the guests was a guy who creates the most amazing flower creations. It was so beautiful. I am going to share with you some of my personal favorite flower designs that I have found, so that my blog can bloom like the city around me.

PS ssshh but these images came from here.

The Giving Season: O to Make a Difference

Amidst the busy holiday season, I offer this. It is a fresh way to make a difference. It offers the chance to feel that one person, that you, can actually bring about change. I am putting it on my Christmas list. I challenge anyone who reads this to click on the links and learn more and see if you too aren't pushed to do something to help. The final push was watching this video.

I have a good heart. I want to make the world better but too often the problems seem overwhelming and I feel too small to make an impact and the message gets lost. This book, this movement offer real solutions that each one of use can be a part of and that is something worth sharing!