Parenting: A Little Crunchy

A few weeks ago, a mom friend was telling me about the health reset she was leading at her gym. I mentioned that I could use something like that and she commented that I already practice some of what she was teaching and that I was "a little crunchy". She did not mean it in a negative way but it gave me pause. I had never thought of myself as crunchy. In that moment, I could see myself as she did- Emaline and I cook homemade granola for goodness sake!

As somebody who overthinks things, the phrase tossed in my mind. I was stuck, not on whether she was right but when did this happen? I had not always been this way. I used to not read labels or think twice about where my money went. I used to think a bagel for breakfast and frozen pizza for dinner constituted a well-balanced diet. But somewhere, something changed.

And I began to hear myself: talk about the food we eat, the products I purchase, my desire to buy and own less, and my hope that the planet begins to tilt in a more conscious way.

I have to admit, it does sound a little crunchy.

But it's not. Not really. It is just wanting better. It is being aware of the problems that we face and wanting to make changes to make the world a happier, healthier, more peaceful place. If not for me, then for Emaline. 

I realized then when this happened: When I became a mom. 

I was eight months pregnant when my hometown was bombed. I have to shut the television off because the news is too much for a little person to see. The first time I fed my child a jar of baby food, a rash broke out on her face. The day she was born, I looked at her and knew I would do anything to keep her safe. The list goes on.

As a parent, your stake in the game changes. I feel responsible, not only for my child but the world that is left to her. And so things began to shift. It will never be perfect but I can never stop trying. 

Change requires making conscious decisions, small choices over and over that will improve her life today and tomorrow. I am striving for something better and I think things like kindness, generosity, and taking care of our planet are keys to getting there. I also love homemade granola. So I guess I am a little crunchy.

Big Things: Focus

Portsmouth

This year, more than any other, seems to carry focus. Not because of some determined resolution but 

because of a path that I have slowly, oh so slowly, been wearing down and creating.

But before I can press my feet into the dirt and continue, I need to take a little bit of time to reflect. A year has ended and a new one has shuffled into place. In reflecting on 2015, the year of balance, it took me a moment to recognize the year as it was. Most of the changes, with some serious exception, are small. A few are light, simple, and fun. But my reason for creating a list is to provide a reminder, context. And in this post of introspection, I realize that 2015 was the year in which this quote proved true:





We rang in 2015 at our house with some of my best college friends. It was wonderful!

A few weeks later, Nick, Emaline, and I flew to Sanibel, Florida with my parents. We rode bikes, collected shells, watched sunsets, drank jai-alai, and swam in the ocean.

While we were there we found out that my Nana Rice was very sick. We wondered if we needed to return home early, but the decision was made for us when a massive snowstorm shut down New England. When we were able to get back,we spent time with my Nana before she passed away.

Nick pulling Emaline through the backyard of the house where my Mom grew up.

My Uncle Paul doing something on the roof. My Nana watching us through the window. The last day we saw her.

On my birthday, we said goodbye to my last grandparent. I wrote about her here. We spent the next few months buried in snow.

When finally the last bit of white melted away, we broke the record for the snowiest winter in Boston's recorded history. And moving forward from that hibernation, I realize now, how many small changes happened then:

• Started a number of house projects 
• Tended the yard and gardens around our home
• Discovered podcasts 
• Continued to simplify, declutter, and slow my home
• Began eating more fruits and veggies with a daily smoothie
• Got myself to enjoy black coffee
• Started wearing lipstick. (It only took me 32 years to decide that I liked the way it looked.) 
• Learned to like cooking a bit more and picked up a few recipes
• Took a painting class
• Attended networking events
• Found a workout class that I really enjoy and have stuck with it. Barre!

In May, we celebrated Emaline's second birthday with a big party at our house and got her a swing-set. A few weeks later, Nick had to go to Amsterdam for a work conference and I took the opportunity to join him. We left Emaline with my Mom and traveled Bruges and Amsterdam for six days. It was a great reminder how much Nick and I love to travel together and want that for our family in the years to come. We also:

• Traveled to Minneapolis three times
• Vacationed on the Cape
• Visited the National Seashore
• Hosted a number of family and friends

The day after we returned from Europe, the organization that I serve as a volunteer board member had our biggest event of the year! We shut down the main street in Portsmouth to host the Stiletto Sprint! A short race run in heels (men and women) to raise money for Big Brothers Big Sisters. It was an incredible event and I am so proud to be a part of it. In our last meeting, I agreed to take a higher position on the board for this coming year.

And at the end of the summer, I got an offer to join a long term writing project. An author who I love and respect is writing a historical fiction novel and has asked me to research and edit. I officially started on September 1st and it is the best!

In addition to this list, are the countless days I have spent with Emaline. Often we are in pajamas, playing hide and seek or babies or kitchen or coloring or singing or freeze dancing. I will admit that sometimes Emaline has to say "Mama, play with me!" before I decide that it is okay to stop what I am doing (this included) and be with her completely. But every night when I squeeze her in my arms before tucking her in, I know this is a time to cherish. And I do. She is no longer a baby but a little person. She is smart, funny, thoughtful, and curious. She counts, sings, knows her colors and letters, uses a high-pitched voice when we play pretend. Every day she does something that just pulls on my heart. This morning she hid stuffed animals in Nick's jacket pocket to surprise him when he went to work.

So 2016, I am ready for you. 2016 is the year of focus. Travel. Finances. Family. Friends. Writing.

Happy New Year!

Sunday in October: Little Bits of Magic

It is Sunday and football is on. We have nothing planned today and I am happy for it. We will take on a few house projects and hang out as a family. I will write and we will cook dinner together. Days like this are not as common as we would like but so nice when they occur.

This fall Emaline is getting into the season, seemingly collecting baby pumpkins, painting them, placing them on the steps, and repeating the process every time it rains and the paint runs off. I love sitting with her on the deck as she focuses on putting just the right amount of blob and swirl on each little pumpkin.

 

And my addiction to Netflix documentaries continues. My recent favorites are Maidentrip and Hungry for Change. The second, pushed me into a smoothie kick. I really enjoy stuffing handfuls of leafy greens, carrots, and fruit into our Big Boss blender. I know I am doing something good for myself and it really does taste great! 

All of this

Becomes this.

I am most of the way through Big Magic and love it! I knew I would. Elizabeth Gilbert is one of my all time favorites. I have written about her podcast, her TedTalk, and her books. She is wise and honest and her opinions on art and creativity are so refreshing.

This book could not have come at a better time. I have been met with a very special writing opportunity and have appreciated the encouragement as I begin a new adventure. I will be able to share details with the blog very soon!

**And speaking of creative living, my awesome SIL has opened up an etsy shop! You can check out Smudge Guest Books HERE. Babies, engagements, showers, weddings, little kid birthday, personalized art. Elise is offering a special offer for Write to Simplicity readers. If you order before the end of October and mention this post, you will receive 10% off your order!

Travel: Like Writing

Bruges, Belgium. 

 On a Wednesday evening a few weeks ago, Nick and I left Emaline with my parents and boarded a plane to Amsterdam. As the trip neared, I received one of two questions: "Are you excited?" or "Are you scared to leave Emaline?" I have never been good at answering questions of this type. The honest response is trickier than expected so I just say "yes."

Emaline carried my picture in her pocket the day before I came home.

I thought about not going. I allowed waves of guilt and fear to follow me around. I polled friends and family expecting somebody to tell me what I wanted to hear. I looked at my child and knew that I would not see anything in this world as wonderful as her little face. I could not imagine being away from her for six days because we are always together and I don't want to miss even a minor change. It happens so quick. But as I lifted her from my shoulder and placed her in bed, I thought about how I wanted her to see me.

I paused the fear and the judgement and just focused on her and I. And I realized that I need to give her the best version of myself. And for me, part of that is travel.

I recently read Yes Please  and the words that stick with me are, "good for you, not for me." How I parent is not the same as how you parent. How I live my life is not the same as you live your life. And that's totally cool! I need to stop trying to meet some invisible expectation. When I let go of public perception, decisions are much simpler. The answer: Travel, like writing, makes me better. The same reason that I went, might be the same reason that another parent chooses to stay.

Nick and I are both a little better after an adventure than the version of ourselves who began. We push ourselves to new places, collect experiences, and step out of routine to look at a shiny new world.

And like that, the fear settled. It did not go away, but I was able to package it up and stow it beneath my seat. I still cried on the way to the airport and I still felt a knot in my chest whenever a small child passed us on the streets of Europe. But as our train rolled through the Belgian countryside I felt light. I took in the beauty of the area and thought about telling Emaline all about this when she gets a little older.  

IAMSTERDAM

A real Belgian waffle

New Flemish friends in Bruges, Belgium 

The Great and The Terrible: Books for Her

Emaline was not feeling well last night so we are taking it easy today. After reading a thousand books, she just fell asleep. She loves books! If she is having a moment I can almost always break her out of it by telling her to pick out any book she wants and that I will read.

A few of her favorites (that we love too) are:

1. 10 Little Fingers and 10 Little Toes
2. Dear Zoo
3. How Do I Love You
4. Brown Bear
5. Little Owl's Night
6. The Day the Crayons Quit

There are so many lovely, creative, thoughtful stories. 

And then there are the ones that make me shake my head. I can't take them out of rotation because she enjoys them and really that's what matters. But after reading them over and over, I have to share!

For example the popular Goodnight (Insert name of state). Terrible! The writing is dry and unimaginative. And in case you thought your state was special, buy a second state and discover the similarities. 

Minnesota on left, New Hampshire on right.

New Hampshire on left, Minnesota on right.

The people who wrote these books are genius in that they are obviously successful- But come on! Try a little! 

And I have to mention nursery rhymes. Emaline loves them! Itsy Bitsy Spider and Wheels on the Bus are her favorites but there are a few in her Real Mother Goose book that don't seem quite so classic.

What are some of your favorites? Any that drive you crazy?

   

New Home: First Christmas

December swept by with such force that I have just now caught my breath. I wrote this post on December 8th and never pressed publish. The holidays are always busy but with Nick travelling for work and us travelling for Christmas, we reached new speed. So in an effort to remember, I am posting now without change to my previously written words.

We spent this weekend getting our new house Christmas ready. On Saturday, we bundled Emaline in a tiny sleeping bag and took her on her first wagon ride. We pulled our all-terrain Radio Flyer down the street to a local flower shop and bought a Christmas tree.

On previous years, my choosing method was to find the fattest tree that I could find. It has not always worked out well. This year I picked one that is skinny but full. It is the best tree we have had in years! For the walk home, I carried the baby sack and Nick pulled the tree which had been tied to the wagon. If only Norman Rockwell could have seen us!

That night my parents came to spend the night. I have heard that the Portsmouth tree lighting is the best day of the year and I was so excited to check it out. unfortunately, the lighting and holiday parade were cancelled because of rain. So we went out for a nice dinner and then came home to decorate the tree, listen to Christmas music, and sip Bailey's on ice. It was great. My Mom also gave me a lesson on putting on Christmas lights. Her tips:

1. Start at the top
2. Hang the lights loose and away from the trunk
3. Step back often and fuzz your eyes to check spacing

Now to finish shopping and get some present under the tree. Merry Christmas!

Did you miss these holiday posts?

New Year: One Word

A few weeks ago, I told Nick about an author who intentionally lives each year carrying a one word theme. Growth. Change. Fun.

Nick caught me off guard today by asking if I chose my word. It was an interesting idea but I hadn't intended to pick a word. Usually I am able to identify themes only in hindsight, after the surprise twists of time begin to make sense. But as he asked me, the word rolled forward as though called upon and letters bolded in my mind.

Balance.

A little bit more and a little bit less of all of the parts of my life that matter. I walk a tightrope carrying all of the things that I hold dear. It is easy to forget to look up, to lose my footing, to not stop for a breath. Balance.

Happy 2015. May you find your word, whether you know it or not.  


Also, I keep thinking about this post from a few years ago and this one as well.

Holding Babies: Don't Try This At Home

Earlier this fall, Emaline and I were visiting my best friend Kris. We were hanging out at her house and heading upstairs. Kris had her arms full so I scooped up both babies. Kris asked me to hold on so she could take a picture. While she was snapping away, calling their names and making silly noises, I stayed still and smiled at the camera (or so I thought). This is what actually happened:

This makes me laugh so much! Notice poor little Michael's fear and Emaline's indifference turn to amusement.

Did you miss: The best friendship advice or my husband's goofy sense of humor?

18 Months: Emaline Right Now

Like many parents, Nick and I started making guesses about Emaline's personality before we ever laid eyes on her. The surprising part is how much of what we thought is turning out to be true. She is sweet, loving, and affectionate. And at the same time, she is brave, stubborn, and active. She wants you to cuddle her when she first gets up and before she goes to bed. She offers hugs and kisses throughout the day. When she is upset, she will pat your back as you pat hers. Last week at her well-check (they're not called checkups anymore apparently), the nurse came in to administer shots and when she saw Emaline, turned to the other nurse and said, "She's little but this one is surprisingly strong." I was so proud.

Nicknames:
Baby J
Ema-J
Ema Jo
Embot
Monkey
Em
Ema
Emaloo
Loola

I wish I had been writing these updates all along, but right now is such a fun age. Emaline is so busy! She zips around the house on wobbly legs. She moves from one thing to the next as though she actually has something that must get done. She talks nonstop and will attempt to say any word you ask. She has probably 50 words and it grows everyday. She says "bless you" when I sneeze (but when you fake it, won't respond) and says "okay?" if she thinks I am hurt. And for awhile now, when she hands Nick and I anything, we say, "Thank you. You are so helpful". So now she searches for things to pick up and carry around saying, "helpful, helpful" (which sounds like (hapfoo, hapfoo). Laundry, dishes, any household chores, she wants her little hands in there. 

Favorite words:

Mama

Dada
Toby (Boby)
Baby
Nose
Eyes
No
Hi
Helpful
Grandpa (Gampa or Buppa)

Her favorite things are books and music. She loves to pull my books off the shelves and carries them around the house with her all day. She will sit with her own books and turn the pages. She will hand me stacks of books and then push her way onto my lap. She sings along with the radio, even if she's never heard the song. If she is upset in the car and we put on a song she likes, not only will she stop crying, she will start singing. She dances in the living room. And I know the current kick is no screen time but Sesame Street songs on YouTube and Play With Me Sesame on Sprout have gotten us through so many long days and rough nights. 

Favorite songs to sing:
ABCs
Twinkle Twinkle
Row Row
You are My Sunshine
Happy by Pharrell
Lost in My Mind by Head and the Heart
Halo by Beyonce
How Can You Swallow So Much Sleep by Bombay Bicycle Club

Did you miss: My attempt at changing the way I talk? The early days?